Diabetes and Dating … What You Should Say …

In bygone days, telling someone you just started dating or someone you want to date was very difficult.

Back in high school my fist real girlfriend had her best friend tell my best friend because she was so embarrassed. I’m not sure if it’s any better today, but there are ways of making it easier.

In addition to all of the difficulties of dating, diabetes comes with a whole new set of complications. This guide should help navigate these new waters.

While that may be a few people out there who may be inconsiderate of a diabetic’s individual needs, for the most part people are better educated and more than likely have someone in their family with this condition, and will be very understanding and supportive. If they have questions, all the better, it means they care.

If you are reluctant to share your condition at first, consider the consequences of not sharing should you hit a rough patch of low sugar.  

When you do break the ice, and as questions develop, keep your reply’s simple, but not so simple as to not convey the seriousness, and the need for rapid response should hypoglycemia arise. Here are a few things to say or cover:

1. “I have diabetes which means my blood sugar is sometimes unstable.
2. I have to measure my blood sugar daily - or twice daily, or whatever.
3. I have to watch what I eat: very few sweets.
4. I can live my life normally with medication.”

Try to judge how much information to give to your date so as to not overwhelm them. Some will want to know everything right now, others may be put off a little at first so wait til they ask. This can be a great time of bonding. Ask how they feel and move forward accordingly. Don’t be afraid to share your feelings about it as well.

Print up a little emergency guide with emergency numbers and contacts and what to do if you faint; keep it on you at all times. Give a copy to all of your friends ... just in case. Renew and update it several times a year and hand out, just so everyone is on the same page, lest they forget about what’s wrong and how to fix an emergency

When eating out … plan ahead:

1. As you are aware, eating on a regular schedule is essential. Avoid restaurants where there might be a long wait.
2. Make reservations and tell them you’re diabetic and need to be seated as soon as possible when you get there.
3. If you or your date is running late, be sure to always carry a couple of pieces of fruit or protein bars.
4. If still running behind, go somewhere and grab a sandwich enough to hold you over
5. Do NOT gamble with your sugar to please someone else! You have to make your diabetes yoiur top priority!
6. If friends are involved and they want to put off eating for awhile be firm and eat on time.

As alcohol is a common part of dating, check with your doctor to know if and how much you may consume. Remember, alcohol turns to sugar very quickly in your body, kicking your sugar way past what it should be. If and when the pancreas kicks in and sends out a bunch of insulin, you can crash at any time.

Don’t worry about what others will think. Some medications react very badly with alcohol, so be very careful. In a crowd it’s easy to get a non-alcoholic drink that looks like it has alcohol in it. Slip the bartender a few dollars and he/she will make sure you’re not over-indulging … they see it every day in their business. Wine is harder to disguise, just sip slowly and keep adding water. Keep drinking water to offset the sugar kick. Remember to eat/nibble along the way, to keep sugar levels in check.

Always …

• check your blood sugar before you drink and before going to bed.
• Don’t drink if your blood glucose is Not OK.
• Don’t drive for several hours after drinking, as you are much more likely to expereince low blood sugar and pass out.

A date doesn’t have to be a meal, here are some other suggestions:

• Take a bike ride together.
• Go for a walk
• Go out dancing
• Prepare a romantic dinner at home
• Cook fish and serve healthy side dishes

Regarding sex … some diabetics have problems with sex due to depression or anxiety or …

• With Women:
• decreased interest (libido),
• vaginal dryness and/or pain
• Sex is very safe foe female diabetics however, birth control pills may elevate glucose

• With Men: Erectile dysfunction is very common among diabetic men, and it may appear 10-15 years earlier than those without it. In fact it may be one of the first signs of Diabetes.

Medications for the following may worsen the problem:

• anxiety,
• depression,
• high blood pressure and
• some diabetic medications

Talking to your doctor and/or healthcare team and your partner will often times help a great deal. You may need some new or a change in medications to help with the problem(s).