Love: The Little Things

That feeling of being cared for, respected, and wanted is stronger than most would think, when it is withdrawn or lacking there of that happy person can quickly change to being withdrawn, but most will often try to hide the hurt inside. Never underestimate the power of touch and affection from a loved one, or the sadness that can be generated from lack of. It is arguable that there is nothing more lonely than laying next to a person that you love thinking that they have no interest in you, full of tears and unrest.

Seems pretty common place now that people interchangeably use the words sex and love. They used to be different things, and to some still are, people need to get back to making a distinction between the two. Sex is physical, and can be had with just about anyone, and it does not constitute a relationship, however it is part of a healthy relationship, and lack of sex in a relationship is pretty much a guaranteed way to kill it. Love on the other hand isn’t something that can be had with anyone, although there are different forms of love.

As far as a relationship goes love is a must to have a healthy relationship, love is like sacrificially giving yourself to another person, mostly putting that person’s needs before your own, not doing anything that would make that person unhappy intentionally, going out of your way to make that person happy because it makes you happy, when you’re apart being anxious to get back together because you enjoy each other, and so forth. Love is not just a feeling it’s an action, it’s all the small things, it’s like an act of intention. Love is all encompassing and is a verb.

Growing closer with your partner will improve that relationship and make it stronger, which will no doubt carry over to your sex life. Love is foundation to be built on, how it grows is up to you, with attention it grows strong, healthy, and happy; while nothing good grows from neglect. Love is mutual two way street that can keep you happy for all your days if you find the right person.

Studies have shown that couples who sleep together and stayed touching while they were sleeping had a stronger love relationship and were happier. Manner of touching didn’t matter whether it was spooning, or simply touching each others back, hands, or feet; it was shown to be better to stay in contact with a partner rather a space between. 94% of the couples who slept in contact were happy in their relationships compared to 68% that did not touch. Hugs in the morning or some little gesture before getting out of bed was also shown to be a good way to affirm the relationship and start the day off with a positive smile.

Studies have shown that couples who share chores together have more secure and loving relationships than those without shared division of labor. Division of labor was perceived as being fair and ensuring that partners feel respected while carrying out everyday tasks.

Dancing is fun, it relieves stress and helps to create a bond with your partner. You don’t need to be great at it, and there doesn’t even need to be music. The simple act of embrace has been shown to reduce stress among other things. Next time your partner is in the kitchen try a nice little slow dance, maybe a twirl spin for fun. It doesn’t have to be long, just a few moments, that’s all it takes. If you keep at it with time you will develop a routine and may even turn out to be that couple everyone looks at when they’re dancing together in public that just flow with each other.

Watch the skyline together, that is romantic, whether it’s the sun or the moon, just enjoy the beauty of the sky and the time spent with your loved one. It’s even better to go for a walk while doing it, to get in a bit of fresh air and physical activity. Walking in nature is a great bonding activity that makes just about anyone feel great, sharing those moments focusing on beautiful acts of nature together nurtures relationships. What could be better than finding beauty in life and sharing it with someone you love.

No matter how long you’ve been together, or if you had zero to 12 kids, it’s important to keep dating. Weekly date nights are great, but at least two a month can help to keep things fresh. Take turns on deciding where to go and what will be done. Make a deal not to talk about kids, school, family, bills, or work while you are out. Just focus on each other and have fun together.

Practice unconditional love and respect, this is a hard one for many. It means simply even during times that you may not think your partner deserves it you still love and respect them. When this is lost or breaks down that is often the worst thing that can happen. Humans are innately selfish creatures, wanting what they want regardless; and will throw back a cold shoulder when hurt or angered. This is hard but when you love and respect your partner all the time no matter what, it tends to break the cycle with regards to not feeling loved or respected; within reason of course excluding abuse among other things.

There are simple ways, mostly those important little things that can strengthen love. You can write little notes and leave them around to be found, say thank you often, forgive quickly, listen intently, focus on staying friends, send little messages to each other as simple as a heart for no reason, be thankful, be helpful, practice gratitude, compliment your partner and really mean it, go for walks, snuggle, gently run a finger on their arm, a simple smile and wink, hug your partner from behind when they don’t expect it, a little kiss on the cheek, or simply hold hands. It really is the little things that make the difference to create a stronger bond, and happier relationship, which will spill over into sex life.

Relationships for the most part should come easy, that being said they still do require commitment, patience, time, understanding, selflessness, and tenderness to stay strong and loving. Yes that means making an effort to keep it 50/50, far too often couples forget that it takes effort. When both partners focus on what is best for the relationship it takes away selfish interests and builds a strong and healthy relationship core that shows up in more than one way.

Are you letting your partner know that they are special to you? Never take a day for granted, you may not have the chance to do it later as you don’t know what that day may bring. If you have a partner that seems to be getting a bit withdrawn, take a look in the mirror, maybe you have not been pulling your end, even the most loving person full of patience eventually grows tired with neglect. Maybe it’s time you do something about it, get back to doing more of what drew the two of you together in the first place…the small things remember.